Finding out what love language makes our partner feel loved would definitely be beneficial in order for us to be aware and know what to provide. Sometimes even when we think we are loving or showing affection to our partner based on our own standards but if that's not what our partner needs, it won't make our partner feel loved.
So you may ask well how do I know what are my partner's languages? Start by asking yourself some discovery questions like what does he/she value? What does he/she most often complain about? As much as it is important to ask ourselves how I express love, it is just as important to ask what makes my partner feel loved? Self-knowledge and self-awareness is crucial to our own happiness and I think the way of looking at love within relationships is very important, not only to understand ourselves but our partners as well. Knowing how you prefer to be loved is important for your relationship. It’s romantic to think your partner should just know how to love you—but it’s also a bit unrealistic, and can even be unfair to expect something from your partner if you’re not willing to tell him/her how you prefer to be loved and appreciated in your relationship.
The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.
Information below is from the The Five Love Languages website.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Physical Touch
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hastry, thoughtless gift would be disastrous - so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
I wanted to share my personal love language profile with you all and encourage you to take the profile more for self-knowledge and discovery. Here's how I scored on Five Love Language profile.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Physical Touch
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hastry, thoughtless gift would be disastrous - so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
I wanted to share my personal love language profile with you all and encourage you to take the profile more for self-knowledge and discovery. Here's how I scored on Five Love Language profile.
11
|
Words of Affirmation
|
7
|
Quality Time
|
6
|
Acts of Service
|
4
|
Physical Touch
|
2
|
Receiving Gifts
|
I think the Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service are the ones that resonated with me the most. As our lives get busier with everything that is around us, it is that much more difficult to find time together so when we do get the opportunity to, my husband I make a conscious effort to make sure we have quality time and enjoy the time of just being together.
If you want to know more about The Five Love Languages or find out what your and your partner's love languages are, visit their website to take the questionnaire.
